capitol-hill-attack

“Shakes Head” – Capitol Hill Reaction

First of all, our condolences to Olive Garden for taking home the “while you were minding your business” award. The late great “all-you-can-eat breadsticks and salad” giant took an unnecessary blow to its business yesterday after tv journalist and gray hair dye spokesperson of the decade, Anderson Cooper, lumped the quasi-Italian food chain in with radicalized trumpsters who put on a sheer amazingly ignorant display of white fragility yesterday at our nation’s capital. Moment of silence for fried ravioli and raspberry teas. 
…….
7 days into the new year and 2021 has already told 2020 to hold not only its beer, but its pockets, bonged a fifth of Hennessy and launched our nation knee deep into the twilight zone. 7 days. 7 days, and trump madness has reached endgame levels of well madness. In an 8 hour span, Cheeto in chief galvanized all the oh-so-oppressed whites and corralled them to DC. Tells them to storm the capitol building, ducks off to his padded room, throws vice zombie pence under the bus and then before 3rd shift comes on, pats his cult on the back and tells them he loves them. And all the black people across America watched this and shook our heads in disgust just like all the church mothers we’ve ever met. 


What happened yesterday is the very definition of insurgency, of treason, of, if nothing else, a hilarious failed attempt at a coup d’etat and is unacceptable, if you believe in democracy. Well in real democracy and not the Americanized version we’ve been led to believe which is just illusionary since we’re a republic led oligarchy but you know…semantics. Anyone surprised or shocked  by the events of yesterday and the continued lack of police brutality or force that was shown to black and brown people all last year during the Black Lives Matter protests and the year before that and the year before that and the decade before that…didn’t pay attention in history class. So for my sleepy heads in the back row, the late comers who didn’t get the syllabus and everyone in between, ill give you a crash course. Black people aren’t allowed. That’s it. That’s the whole course. Skip all your “if it was black people blah blah blah” think pieces. We the black people know this already. We didn’t get to skip that class. Of course the police and the national guard and the congress people didn’t retaliate. every crazed white person at the capitol including the clowns in office supporting doseph j. tralin, are the ones he’s been specifically talking to for four years. That was his cult and his constituency. Those are the people the system was built to serve. 


Let’s pause there for a moment… The most hilarious part about all of this to me is here are all these people that, I’m assuming, voted for chump and his republican peanut gallery at least twice now. Meaning that they believe the system they used to put these people in office does work, yet here they are upset that the system they used to get their way isn’t allowing them to get their way again. Ya know because losing sucks. Especially when you’re white and the world has told you everyday since you were born that you’re special and that everything is yours to take and to hold forever and ever unto perpetuity…ya know because that’s the American way. The reality of it all and the glaring take away from yesterday and the last four years is There’s nothing more American than white loss. 28 notable uprisings in American history and 24 of them involve one group of white people marching on another group of white people about the system they’re all benefiting from. This is just the first time it was thrown into the new modern faces of the freshly realized super oppressed whites. The game you created and then rigged to win failed you with flying colors.


On one hand, the world got to see on full display the realization of what black people have been screaming and getting killed and shot and sprayed and beaten and choked and kidnapped and imprisoned for…the end of police brutality. Hell the police were so uncharacteristically nonviolent yesterday that they opened the gates and the doors to everywhere the enraged unseasoneds wanted to go. Boom. Who knew, we knew, but who knew…that all it took to disarm and defund the police was to put on a fur Viking hat, your best Patagonia overcoat and march with 2000 of your closest Caucasian friends to the capital of the United States and storm the congress buildings?


On the other hand, we also got to see just how far our country will go to pacify those who dont look like me. White was right yesterday in ways that would have been cause for immediate and swift neutralization of the threat literally anywhere else in the world. In the 60s a Philadelphia mayor bombed an entire apartment complex for two black people who wanted nothing but equal rights for people of colorIn 1921, the Tulsa government allowed the massacre of black wallstreet and all of its citizens and businesses for just being.2021….white people stormed the capital and 4 people are now dead with many injured because the election you all created to serve just y’all yeilded a different result then the one you put the cheat code in for. Y’all wanted level three guns and infinite cash and instead got big heads and the 5 star wanted level. 


 Y’all lost bro. Take your L on the chin like the rest of us and go back to your yoga classes, Starbucks luncheons and alt-right potlucks. Because yesterday had y’all looking bad, i mean just trailer trash bad, and i want the best for you but eww. 
In closing. Yesterday was a shitshow for the entire country yet somehow the real losers in all of this are bread sticks and salad. Sorry Olive Garden, you deserve better. 


-Brandon Harrison

capitol-hill-attack

“Shakes Head” – Capitol Hill Reaction

First of all, our condolences to Olive Garden for taking home the “while you were minding your business” award. The late great “all-you-can-eat breadsticks and salad” giant took an unnecessary blow to its business yesterday after tv journalist and gray hair dye spokesperson of the decade, Anderson Cooper, lumped the quasi-Italian food chain in with

Read More »

Courier Journal Removes Article About Breonna Taylor Facts

Recently, it has come to light that an article posted by the courier journal was deleted… Read the full article here…  Full Courier Journal Article ** Edit – The Courier Journal has since republished their article, with some slight modifications of course… So Why Would They Delete This Article? What’re Your Thoughts?

Read More »
Scroll to Top